the sun is in the sky oh why oh why would I want to be anywhere else

So I win the award for the heaviest suitcase in the family. What? I like to have my options! Yesterday we drove 12 hours to St. John New Brunswick Canada. I was so happy last night because I had my own room! The room we stayed in had a little side children’s bed room. Anything that block out the sound of my parent’s snoring makes me a happy traveler. Hehe
I’m surprised at how warm it is here! High 80s- not bad for Canada. At night it still gets cold, but that’s perfect for bon fires.
Starting now I have to transition into two weeks of no cell phone usage, not being on the internet as much, and being around people who are nice just because they’re nice! At home I get suspicious when people are being extra friendly. Here talking to people in the elevator about where our travels lead is just normal.
Well we’re off to Nova Scotia! (only 500 more miles…oye)

summer came like cinnamon, so sweet

So I'm leaving for Canada on Wednesday- my yearly summer trip to be with all my relatives. Because I only get to spend time there twice a year I idealize the place. I don't think its a bad fantasy to have- I think of Ben Eoin (the name of the town where our cottage is) as a relaxing place that helps me get my head clear. Whenever I feel overwhelmed I picture myself there and I feel more at ease. Maybe its the country air that smells like freshly cut sweet grass or perhaps all the salt water my body absorbs from swimming everyday or just the fact that I'm away from the chaotic lifestyle I live in New Jersey, but I believe that the wounds I've collected over the past year have time to mend themselves there. Maybe they won't be completely fixed in two weeks, but at least I have time to take care of my own well being.

This year I have a list of things that I want to make sure I do.
- continue my writing- poetry, journal, thoughts etc,
- continue my artwork that I started in London- water colors, collages
- finally get time to read some books!
- study for the GREs =( boooo
- have an amazing time with my family and friends!
- eat tons of Lebanese food! haha
I'm looking forward to cutting back on my cell phone and Internet usage, but I will keep in touch to prevent myself from going crazy.

you're bad news

This has been one of those frustrating days when all the little things that have been going wrong start to add up. I had to go to best buy to buy a new camera charger (later finding out its the wrong thing!). I decided to stop into borders to browse through the books. I found myself in the self-help section to see what the latest advice is on relationships and self improvement. On my way I had to take a detour. There was this young couple making out right where the relationship guides were! The guy was sitting on one of the step stools and she was on his lap. Imagine some person going to look up ways to get over his/her breakup and there you find a couple getting all into their PDA! I thought to myself, can't they move into the romance section?
Anyway, tonight Cara, Lauren, and I are going to Clyde's (the martini bar in New Brunswick). I'm in need of some distractions.

there are oceans and waves and wires between us

To be honest my decision to start writing again has me feeling nervous. I used to be devoted to my journal to the point where missing one day of writing would throw my mental state off balance. I love my journal dearly but most of the time my hand can't keep up with my running thoughts. For a while now I've been using my friends as a verbal journal. Lately I've been feeling pent up and irritable because so much has been going on at such a fast rate, but my main man who has replaced my journal has been away for far too long (or so it seems). My days blur into one another and it's about time I begin remembering what has happened and on what days!

This summer has been full of ups and downs. Sometimes I wonder how I had the energy to make it to July. I wasn't ready to come home from London. I didn't want that phase of my life to end. I wasn't a different person, but I liked myself in London. While living there I felt free. I fell in love with the feeling that my past was across the Atlantic. I felt refreshed as if I had more control over my life there. I learned how to be okay with being on my own. I grew into my skin more while away 4 months in Europe than I did the past 3 years at Villanova. I developed a greater appreciation for all the people I love back at home.
A few days ago I got scared because I started to forget things like the names of my favorite tube stops (such as Oxford Circus where I would get off to shop at the Top Shop). I don't want my memories to fade! Now when I talk about my time abroad it feels like a dream, and I find myself staring off trying to remind myself that it was real. I remember walking to work, battling the cool wind as I crossed over Westminster bridge, and thinking how surreal this feels. Maybe I knew that my time there was short and one day I would be home (like I am now) wanting to feel the way I did when on the bridge.

::sigh:: How I miss tea and rich tea biscuit breaks, hot chocolate with my flatmates, watching costume dramas, the lovestruck section of the London paper, watching the drunken fights outside the kitchen window, gigs at the buffalo bar, working at St. Thomas's Hospital school and so much more. I must start saving up for my next visit. (After my friend Nicola comes to visit here next summer!!!!)
Anyway, this melancholy rant could go on forever, but I'll stop now and sleep.